This is a message I received from a friend. A friend who is allergic to driving. A friend who’s main objective when we organise a get together is to push for it to be held at her house so she doesn’t have to make the effort to move. She is a sloth.
This time she didn’t succeed. I grumbled to another friend and asked if I should tell her to fuck off. I didn’t do that. I curtly replied: “Yes”.
She responded wondering if I could be at her house at 7:15pm. I bitterly thought, yes your highness. Would you like me to polish your silver while I’m at it? Please don’t whip me if I don’t wear my Sunday best.
But instead I answered: “Yes. It’s only 5 minutes away, I doubt everyone will get there on time so it doesn’t really matter.” This was a little dig at the fact that I would have to leave work early and beat the traffic so I could cart her lazy arse.
I let my other friend in on a little secret that I planned to get there at 7:35pm instead, maybe even 7:38pm. Who knows? I’m feeling a little crazy.